


Better With Actions

by orphan_account



Series: Yeah I Wrote Something: Tumblr Fics [1]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: And then more angst, Angry Dean Winchester, Angst, F/M, Fake/Pretend Relationship, M/M, More angst, between sam and cas, but happy ending, older jess
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-07-13
Updated: 2015-07-13
Packaged: 2018-04-09 05:28:25
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,665
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4335650
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"I’m just the nerdy kid who happened to sit next to him at freshman orientation.”</p><p>“You’re his best friend.” Sam insisted, but Cas shook his head.</p><p>“Not anymore.”</p>
            </blockquote>





	Better With Actions

**Author's Note:**

> Hello! So, I didn't mark the fic as underage because Sam is of legal age, but Jess is a few years older than he. Just quick FYI. Also, this fic is all angst. Angst, angst, angst, and more angst. So, if that's not your thing . . . don't tell me. Okay, enjoy!

“Ok, so is it just me, or did things seem a little better at dinner tonight?” Sam asked from his perch on the counter, his tone hopeful.

Castiel didn’t have the heart to tell him the truth, that things were never going to be better between him and Dean again. So he offered a silent nod as he continued to stack plates in the dishwasher.

“Oh, hon, you didn’t have to do that!” Ellen chided as she walked in, carrying the leftovers.

“I know. Count it as a thank you for the delicious meal.” Cas offered, smiling softly. Ellen just shook her head as she pulled out the plastic wrap. No matter how many times she’d told him over the years, he still insisted on helping clean off the table after every meal.

She began to wrap the pie that she’d made for dessert, and Sam quirked an eyebrow, “We’re skipping dessert?”

“I figured I could stick it away for Dean for when he gets back later.”

“Where did he go?” Sam asked, casting a furtive glance at Cas’s stiff back.

“I don’t know. He just went out. We’ll just have ice cream, for now.” She explained in a forced light tone, but a frown flickered across her face as Cas’s shoulders hunched inward.

He tried to hide it, how much it hurt to suddenly lose his best friend, but they all knew. Sam sighed angrily and ran a hand over his face. His brother was a real jackass sometimes.

“Listen, Cas…” He began, but Castiel interrupted him.

“Don’t worry about it, Sam. It was my choice, and now I have to endure the consequences of my decision.”

“Dammit, Cas! No, you shouldn’t have to endure anything! If you have to, then I should have to, too.” Sam argued. “But you don’t see him ignoring me, throwing loaded accusations in my face, tearing me down.”

“Because you’re his brother!” Cas finally burst out, sick of hearing the same argument repeated at him over and over again. He didn’t care if Dean was singling him out or why, he just wanted it to stop. But he knew it wouldn’t. “You’re blood, and I’m not. I’m just the nerdy kid who happened to sit next to him at freshman orientation.”

“You’re his best friend.” Sam insisted, but Cas shook his head.

“Not anymore.”

————————

From the first moment that Cas had met Dean their first year, make that day, of college, he’d been lost. He’d fallen straight into those bright green eyes and had never found his way back out.

But Dean, he wasn’t exactly the settle-down-and-fall-in-love type. No, he was more the take-the-nerdy-kid-from-a-weirdly-religious-family-under-his-wing type, and he had. He’d bought Cas his first beer, taken him to his first college party, gotten him his first hookup, set him up with his first boyfriend. He’d been the greatest best friend/wingman that a gay guy could hope for, as long as that gay guy wasn’t hoping for him.

So by the time Sam joined them at college two years later, Cas and Dean were strictly platonic best friends. And shortly after Sam had arrived, he’d fallen head over heels in love…with a teacher. He, of course, hadn’t been able to act on it. She was seven years older than his eighteen, and he didn’t even think she was interested in a tall, geeky freshman. However, she had been. Jess had tracked him down at a Halloween party and pulled him into a kiss, asking him to keep the relationship a secret until his senior year, at least. And he had agreed.

They’d secretly dated three months before Castiel walked in on them making out on the couch in the apartment that Dean, Cas, and Sam shared. And he’d merely nodded as he walked past, not even flinching at the inappropriateness of the situation.

And it had been another two months after that when Dean had walked into the apartment, pulling his new girlfriend Lisa by the hand, to find a hard and flustered Sam sitting on the couch, looking nervous as hell. Dean was obviously unaware of Jess hiding in the hall closet, so when Cas had come out of the bathroom with his clothes wrinkled and his hair tousled, Dean only arched an eyebrow and muttered, “So that’s where you two have been sneaking off to.” He completely missed the hurt expression that crossed Cas’s face as he realized what Dean had brought Lisa there to do, but Sam didn’t.

So Sam and Jess approached Cas later that evening and asked him to pretend-date Sam. And it was the perfect cover, really. It would keep Sam off the market, so to speak, until he and Jess were ready to go public with their relationship, and it would allow Cas to stay close to Dean even after he got serious with Lisa, and Cas wouldn’t look like a desperate, lonely stalker who was in love with his best friend.

That had been three years before. For three years Cas had watched Dean and Sam fall in love with other people. He didn’t mind about Sam; he and Jess were so in love, Cas couldn’t begrudge them that. But it had hurt like a mother when he’d been left alone on weekend getaways and date nights, times when he was supposed to have someone else there with him, when all he’d wanted were strong arms and bright green eyes to pull him in. But he’d had no one. Even after Dean broke things off with Lisa, Cas had to keep the secret.

And Sam and Jess were planning on telling everyone that summer, they really were. But before they’d had the chance, Dean had seen them making out in Jess’s car in the Denny’s parking lot. And when he’d confronted Sam, yelling and accusing about cheating on his fucking best friend, the guy who’d been there through thick and thin for both of them, Cas had finally broken down and told him the truth.

“They weren’t going behind my back, Dean. I’ve known all along.” Cas had admitted, a guilty blush burning along his cheeks. “If anything, I’m the thing on the side, not Jess.” Dean had stared at him, unable to speak for several long moments.

“What the hell, Cas? Why didn’t you tell me?” He’d asked eventually.

“Because it wasn’t my place to tell. It wasn’t my business, and it wasn’t yours. It was theirs.” Cas had explained, meeting Dean’s eyes steadily.

“The fuck it wasn’t my business! He’s my brother, Cas. And you’ve knowingly lied to me about him for three fucking years.” Dean had run a hand through his hair, tugging at the short strands. “I don’t know if I can even trust you anymore.”

“Dean, it wasn’t–” Sam had started, but Dean had cut him off with a terse promise of, “We’ll deal with our shit later, Sam. And you,” he’d turned back to Cas, pointing his finger accusingly, “you stay the hell away from me and my family.”

And Cas had been devastated. He’d gone numb, following his daily routine like a zombie, ignoring the calls and texts from Sam and Jess. His boss had even commented on it, offering to find a sub to take Cas’s lectures at the college while he pulled his shit together. After several months, Ellen had eventually called Cas, whom she viewed as another son, and told him to get his ass to Sunday dinner; they just weren’t the same without him.

And it had been a little odd, now that Sam spent the entire meal smiling at Jess in a way that he’d never been able to pull off with Cas. But above all else, it had been painful, because Dean had spent the entire meal glaring at Cas and making veiled comments about honesty and loyalty and friendship. And Cas had hoped that maybe things would get better, but with each week that passed, Castiel became further convinced that things would only get worse.

He determined that he needed to stop going to the dinners. Because despite everything, Cas still held out hope that something would change in Dean. But Castiel knew it was foolish; Dean would have never looked at Cas that way before this whole shit storm, and he sure as hell wasn’t going to now.  
——————–

“Something smells delicious,” Dean observed as he walked into the kitchen.

“Yep, I’m just setting the casserole out to cool; it should be ready by try time Sam gets back.” Ellen predicted as she drizzled some cheese to melt over the top of the casserole.

“Oh, where is he?” Dean asked, reaching around her to snatch some cheese from the top.

Ellen hesitated, but decided it didn’t matter at this point, anyway.

“He’s giving Cas a ride to the airport.” Dean tensed up at his former friend’s name, but forced himself to keep his voice light as he asked, “Oh, is he going on vacation?”

“No. He’s moving back to Illinois. Apparently, he got a job with his uncle Zachariah’s firm.”

Dean froze; what the hell? Cas hated his family; they were all a bunch of uptight hypocrites who judged him because his sexuality and mocked him and tried to convert him.

“When’s the flight?” He choked out.

“In a few hours; Sam and Jess were going to help him pack up the last of his stuff to ship up there. He came by earlier to say goodbye.” Her tone was deceptively light.

“I gotta get over there.” Dean mumbled, grabbing his keys from to counter and running toward he door.

“I just hope you’re not too late.” Ellen murmured to herself. Castiel had been waiting for years, and after these past months, she doubted that he was feeling very amiable toward her older adopted son.

———————

Dean sped over to Castiel’s apartment. He ran every stop sign and weaved through traffic, trying to cut off time.

As he pulled up to the curb in front of Cas’s building, he breathed a sigh of relief when he saw that Sam’s car was still parked there.

He ran up to the building and hurried inside, taking the stairs two at a time up to the fourth floor. He pounded on Cas’s door repeatedly until it swung open, revealing Sam.

“I need to talk to him.” Dean demanded, moving to step inside. Sam held up a hand, “Dean, I don’t think that’s a good idea, at this point.”

“Well, that seems to be my MO lately, so let me in so I can talk to my best friend.” Dean glared up at his younger brother, but his eyes shifted to over his shoulder as Cas came into view.

“Dean? Is everything okay?” Cas asked, his concern rising as he took in Dean’s pale face and anxious expression.

“Cas! No, it’s not. Because my dumbass little brother won’t let me in to see his ex-boyfriend, even though you were my best friend way before you were his boyfriend.”

“Sam, you can let him in. It’ll be fine.” Cas assured the taller man, who gave Dean another warning look as he stepped back to let him into the apartment.

“Cas, I need to talk to you. In private.” He shot Sam a glare on these words.

Right then, Jess came out of the kitchen, holding a box. She almost dropped it when she saw Dean standing there.

“Jess, Sam, why don’t you go grab some snacks from the cafe down the street?” Cas suggested, smiling bravely at the couple.

“Sure. But don’t forget, we need to drive you to the airport in a little bit.” Sam reminded as he took Jess by the hand and led her from the apartment.

As soon as the door shut behind them, Dean spun on Cas.

“Why are you doing this?” He asked, pinning Cas down with his steely gaze.

“My uncle offered me a job, and I accepted it.” Castiel explained this like it was the simplest thing on the world.

“You have a job here.” Dean reminded him.

“It didn’t particularly suit me,” Cas hedged, glancing off to the side, “Besides, my contract with the school ended last month, and I chose not to renew.”

“Ok, I get not liking your job. But why the hell are you doing something as stupid as going back to your goddamn family?” Castiel’s eyes hardened at the word stupid, and he opened his mouth to argue, but Dean barreled on. “You hate them! You’re miserable there!”

“Yeah, well not as miserable as I am here, Dean!” Cas burst out. “I would rather go back and be married off to some girl than spend another minute wearing my heart out on you!” He suddenly stopped, his eyes sliding shut as he realized the truth he’d let slip.

“What did you say, Cas?” Dean sounded shocked.

“Nothing.” Cas muttered, wishing the floor would open up and swallow him whole.

“No, it wasn’t nothing.” Dean corrected, eyes intent on Cas’s face as he stepped toward him. “Look at me.” Dean commanded, and Cas’s eyes slowly opened to look at the other man. “Tell me what you mean, Cas.”

“Please, don’t make me say it. You already hate me enough as it is.” Cas whispered, his eyes shining.

“I don’t hate you, Cas. You know I never could.” Dean reassured him, his hand coming up to lightly grip Castiel’s chin and tilt his head up so their eyes made contact. “Now tell me what you meant.” Castiel stared at him for several long moments before he was able to speak again.

“I love you.” The first time was whispered and hesitant. But when Dean didn’t chastise him for the confession, he said them again, louder. “Dean, I love you.” The words seemed to let loose a torrent, and he suddenly found he couldn’t stop until he’d told him everything. “I’ve loved you since that first day we met at freshman orientation. But you didn’t love me back, not the way I wanted; you were with Lisa. So when Sam asked me to help him and Jess out, I agreed.”

“Why didn’t you tell me?” Dean asked softly, regret heavy in his voice.

“I didn’t want to make you angry or uncomfortable.”

“Cas, I’m always uncomfortable when emotions are on the line.” Dean reminded him. “But I’ve always found I’m much better with actions.” And then he was bending down to press his mouth against Cas’s. Cas froze for a second, his entire body tensing up, before he whined high in his throat and brought his hands up to tangle in Dean’s hair, tugging at it to angle their mouths more comfortably.

And then Dean nipped at his lower lip and Cas groaned, opening his mouth to dean’s tongue. Their tongues tangled, and they continued to explore, letting out half sighs and breathless chuckles as they continued to lick and nip at each other’s lips.

When they finally pulled back, Dean grinned down at Cas and rested their foreheads together as they tried to catch their breath.

“Don’t move back to Illinois; stay here with me.” Dean gasped out. “I can’t lose you, not if these past months have meant anything.”

“These past months?”

“I’m miserable without you, you annoying fucker, and I want you back, but, like, times ten.”

“Times ten?” Cas teased, grinning.

“Yeah, it’s the upgrade package that includes dates and sex.” Dean rolled his eyes.

“Sounds good to me.” Cas mumbled, dragging Dean back in for another kiss.

When Sam and Jess walked in later, they both shouted and covered their eyes.

“Seriously? On the couch?” Sam grumbled as he slowly backed out of the apartment.

Once the door was closed, he glanced down at Jess, who was grinning smugly. She held out her hand, “Pay up!”

And at first he was going to grumble about sore winners, but when he heard Castiel’s surprised laugh from inside the apartment, he found that he couldn’t bring himself to care.


End file.
